


Letting Go

by catt021



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst, Character Death, Crying, Episode: s03e10 Erchomai, M/M, One Shot, Parabatai, Parabatai Bond, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 04:19:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14783480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catt021/pseuds/catt021
Summary: "All it took was a subtle shift.Jace/the Owl was leaning down over him, pressing all his weight onto the arrow held over Alec’s heart. Alec knew he couldn’t hold back the arrow forever, not with only one good hand. So instead he shifted ever so slightly and did something the Owl didn't expect: he let go."An alternate ending to s03e10.  What if Alec did what he set out to do and managed to kill Jace in the fight against the Owl?





	Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written any fiction in a long time, but this idea has been knocking around in my head for a few weeks now. 
> 
> After watching that fight scene between Alec and Owl/Jace about 16 times it became clear that despite what Alec said, he was not actually trying to kill Jace. He stabbed the Owl 3 times with impressive accuracy, but every hit was meant to disarm or disable. I think Alec could have killed Jace if he really wanted to (but obviously he DIDN'T actually want to).
> 
> So this is my take on what would have happened if a) Magnus didn't get back in time and b) if Alec actually managed to win the fight. Enjoy!

All it took was a subtle shift.

Jace/the Owl was leaning down over him, pressing all his weight onto the arrow held over Alec’s heart. Alec knew he couldn’t hold back the arrow forever, not with only one good hand. So instead he shifted ever so slightly and did something the Owl didn't expect: he let go, letting the arrow drive down into his shoulder instead of his heart. The Owl didn’t have time to react, pulled down by the momentum. Alec used this moment of surprise to reach into his belt and pull out a small knife. The Owl never saw it coming as he unintentionally impaled himself upon the blade.

It’s an odd sensation, fighting someone whose pain can you feel. Alec felt the sharp sting in his own chest as the knife pierced Jace’s heart. The Owl/Jace could only gasp, his eyes widening in shock. He hadn’t expected Alec to win. Hell, Alec hadn’t expected to win this fight. But the Owl had been proud and forgotten that Alec was the kind of person who was willing to take a little suffering if it meant winning the battle in the long run.

This didn’t feel like a win though.

It was only few moments before the Owl/Jace let out one final gasp and slumped down across Alec’s chest. The weight felt suffocating but Alec didn’t have much time to focus on it before a burning sensation erupted in his side.

Alec had thought the first time this happened was bad, yet somehow the extent of the pain still managed to surprise him. He screamed and thrashed as the part of Jace’s soul he carried with him was clawed away from him. His rune burned and memories flashed before his eyes. The pain felt like it would never end. Eventually it did though, and somehow that was worse.

He felt empty. Both raw and numb at the same time. Eventually he came back to his senses and realized that Jace, his Jace, was still laid across his chest. He could barely breath from the weight of him. The arrow that was lodged in shoulder was being pulled at a painful angle and his broken wrist pinned under Jace’s body was screaming in protest but despite all of this, Alec couldn’t bring himself to try to move.

Instead, with his good hand he pulled his Parabatai closer to him, burying his face in his hair. This was the closest he’d ever be to his brother again, and the realization of that was too much bare.

A sob ripped from his throat. He held onto his Parabatai with a death grip, shaking and crying, because what else was there left to do?

He’d fulfilled his promise. He’d freed his brother from the Owl in the only way that he could and now he was alone. A part of him wanted to try and follow his brother into oblivion, but pinned beneath Jace’s weight he could barely move, let alone reach for the knife, so he continued to just hold his brother and cry.

That was how Magnus found him not long after. The warlock had heard Alec’s screams in the distance. He had run faster, fearing the worst. The sight he was greeted with when he arrived in the alleyway was not what he expected though.

He feared he might find his lover dead, but instead Magnus found him in a different kind of agony, crying and clutching his brother’s corpse to his chest. He was too late. After everything he’d done, everything he’d just sacrificed to Asmodeous, he was too late.

Magnus had to swallow back the guilt blooming in his chest. There would be time for that later. For now, he took a tentative step towards his boyfriend. Alec hadn’t even noticed his arrival.

“Alexander?”

Magnus knelt next to the shaking Shadowhunter. As he drew closer he noted the arrow sticking out of his shoulder. He’d need to do something about that before Alec lost too much blood.

“Alexander?”

He received no reply except a muffled sob. “Alexander, darling, I’m so sorry,” he said, placing a gentle hand on the young man. “I should have been here sooner.”

Alec stilled slightly at the contact, his sobs quieting somewhat but he still didn’t reply.

“I know this is hard darling, but I need you to let Jace go now.” That got a reaction out of Alec. The Shadowhunter stiffened, his knuckles going white as his grip on his brother tightened. Magnus tried to gently pull Alec’s fingers from Jace’s corpse, but the young man had a literal death grip on the body.

Magnus tried his best to sound soothing while he continued to tug at Alec’s hand. “Please Alexander. No one is going to take him away from you my love, but we need to stop the bleeding in your shoulder. Please, for me.”

Alec shuddered, and his grip loosened a modicum. “That’s it,” Magnus cooed softly. “Just let go.”

It took some time but Magnus eventually managed to pull Jace off of Alec. The young Shadowhunter let out a desperate moan as he weakly tried to reach for the body but Magnus’ strong hands were already pulling him away and up into his arms.

Alec briefly tried to resist before finally giving in. His desperation had quickly turned to despair, and what little fight was left in him drained away. He went limp in Magnus’ arms as the warlock drew him in. He was vaguely aware of Magnus trying to comfort him, carding his fingers through his hair, shushing him softly as he continued to cry. But Alec was too numb now to register much more than that.

Everything else was muffled by the dull ache in his side.

He barely even noticed as Magnus pulled the arrow from his shoulder, pressing a handkerchief firmly over the wound. It was probably for the best. That was going to hurt later.

An explosion from the building above briefly shook Alec out his daze. Fire billowed in the sky and chunks of the building above began to rain down. Alec closed his eyes, silently praying that his release would soon come. But fate had other plans. Seeing the impending danger Magnus quickly hauled the Shadowhunter to his feet, dragging him to shelter in a nearby doorway.

The ground shook as chunks of flaming concrete struck the place where they had just been sitting. Alec let out a scream when one of the pieces struck Jace’s body, but Magnus held him tight.

Eventually the dust settled and the silence returned. Alec could no longer see his brothers body, as it was hidden beneath the rubble. Magnus shifted them back out into the alleyway, muttering something about calling Caterina. Alec couldn’t make out the words though.

Darkness had begun to creep into the edges of his vision and he let it take him.

**Author's Note:**

> And that's all folks. Let me know what you thought.
> 
> No, I don't plan on continuing this, but if anyone likes this idea and wants to turn it into a full blown story, please go ahead. I'd love to read something like that, I just don't have the imagination to take it any further than this. I didn't know where to end this to be honest, so if it seems to end a bit suddenly, that's why. It's really just a one shot about pain and grief.
> 
> And before any of the Malec shippers out there comment, yes, I know that in time Alec could move on from Jace's death and live a fulfilling life with Magnus. This one shot is just his dark thoughts in this particular moment as he is overcome with grief and guilt.


End file.
